A normal day

6.12 I’m woken up by the hooting of ten motorbikes and a barking dog. Try to go back to back to sleep using my earplugs..
7.30 Alarm goes off. Time to get up.
7.35 We go downstairs. Stuart goes to the reception: ''Excuse me, are there any good tailors around the hotel.'' ‘Yes, sir, many tailors.’ ‘Can you tell me a name?’ ‘Many tailors, sir.’ ‘Okay, where can I find one, do you have a name?’ ‘Name sir?’ ‘Yes.’... Confusion… ‘Shall I come back after breakfast?’ ‘Yes, sir, after breakfast I give you name.’
7.40 We go into the restaurant to have breakfast. We tick on their list: bread and butter with jam, boiled eggs, noodle soup.
7.50 The bread and jam arrive. No butter. No eggs.
7.55 The soup arrives. ‘Could we have butter please?’ ‘Butter? Yes’
7.57 Girl comes back with tea.
8.00 Girl comes back with coffee.
8.03 Girl comes back with breakfast for other guests.
8.05 Girl comes back with butter. We have breakfast.
8.15 Stuart goes back to reception. ‘Do you have a name of a tailor?’ ‘Tailor, sir?’ ‘Yes, I asked you earlier for the name of a shop to make a shirt.’ ‘Ah, no sir.’ ‘No name?’ ‘No, sir. '
8.20 We go upstairs, I try to unlock the door and the key just breaks off. We have learnt not to be surprised by these situations, so, we go downstairs so they can call someone to fix the lock.
8.25 Reception: ‘Okay sir, you go upstairs, someone comes to help you.’
8.27 We’re in front of our room, the receptionist has the other half of the key, no toolbox, and puts it next to the lock, as if, magically, the key would melt together and be whole again. Stuart:’Eh, I think this doesn’t work, you need a tool, I think.’ Receptionist: 'Eh, yes. I go get tool, please wait here, take a seat.’ (There are no seats in that bleak corridor.)
8.40 The man comes back with a toolbox, pulls the key out of the lock and opens the door. ‘Thank you.’’Ok, you stay here, I go make key for you and come back. ‘Ok, when will you come back?’ ‘Later.’ ‘When , later?’ ‘Later.’ ‘When later, in 5 minutes, in 5 hours, tomorrow?’ ‘Later, sir.’
8.42 I get undressed, get into the shower, turn on the taps. No water.
8.43 I get out of the shower, phone the reception. ‘There’s no water in our taps.’ ‘Yes, Madam, turn on the taps, water comes out.’ ‘No, I just said, there is no water.’ ‘Ah, yes, I switch on water for you.’
8.45 I get into the shower, turn on the taps, still no water.
8.50 I get out of the shower, phone reception: ‘ There’s no water in our taps.’ ‘Yes, Madam, turn on the taps, water comes out.’ ‘No, I just said, there is no water.’ ‘Ah, yes, I switch on water for you.’
8.56 I get into the shower, turn on the taps, there’s water, I have a shower.
9.10 I get dressed, while watching BBC News. Suddenly, all lights go out, air-con off, TV off. Given it’s rather dark in a room with no window and no lights, I phone reception: ‘There’s no electricity in our room, 507.’ ‘Sorry, madam?’ ‘This is room 507, there’s no electricity in our room, lights off, TV off.’ ‘Ah, yes, I turn it on for you.’ ‘Thank you. ‘
9.15 Still no lights. I phone reception: ‘There’s no electricity in our room, 507.’ ‘Sorry, madam?’ ‘This is room 507, there’s no electricity in our room, lights off, TV off.’ ‘Ah, yes, I turn it on for you.’ ‘Thank you. ‘
9.20 Lights on, TV on, Air con on, Martine happy.
9.50 Suddenly, all lights out, air-con off, TV off. I phone reception: ‘There’s no electricity in our room, 507.’ ‘Sorry, madam?’ ‘This is room 507, there’s no electricity in our room, lights off, TV off.’ ‘Ah, yes, I turn it on for you.’ ‘Thank you. ‘
10.00 We go downstairs to leave the hotel. ‘Sorry madam, you must leave your key here.’ ‘Yes, but our key broke and you are getting a new one, so we have no key to give you.’ ‘Yes, but you need to give us your key.’ ‘Yes, but it broke, we have no key.’ ‘Ah, ok, Madam. Can I have your key, please?’