Letzebuergesch?Confusion

Vu dass mir souvill Fotoen hun, hun mir ons gesot mir setzen all Geschicht an 2 Sproochen op de Blog fir dass mir mei Fotoen kreien;)
Vu dass vill Leit leiwer op Letzebuergesch liesen hun mir ons Geschichten vum Laos op Englesch and eemol op Letz geschriwwen, net dass dir mengt mir wiren um repeat Knepchen haenken bliwwen. Sot eis wat der leiwer hudd oder op dir total am Kabes sid elo. Kabes an Bufftek as iwwregens wat mir di lescht 3 Deeg als Kaffi moies kruten... lecker.

Thai Massaaaage!

These have ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous. Our first massage was by the sea on Lonely Beach which was a picture of paradise. Our second was a foot massage which was eye wateringly painful at times, but just what we needed after our first time getting lost in the jungle. However, after this, things went a bit weird. I (Stuart) went for a massage on my own to a place I thought looked official –whatever an official Thai massage parlour looks like. However, the lady seemed to be in a permanent state of confusion that I ACTUALLY wanted a massage, and looked perplexed when after an hour I got up, paid her, said ‘thankyou’ and left. The next was trully horrendous. Instead of relaxing music, I got a blaring television and a really good massage on my left arm (as that was in the direction of the TV). I then decided that this was definitely my last massage. However, after dinner in the remote village in Laos, 8 young Tribeswoman appeared in our hut in traditional dress and helped ease the pains of our hard day. Maybe not the end, but next time we go together.
(picture: efficient Laos sales technique...but we like it)

Our special slideshow-Laos 2

Having arrived in the north, we chose to go on a two-day trek to visit the Akha hilltribe people an enjoy the unspoilt beauty of Laos. Unfortunately, 3 hours into our trek, the rain et in and our trail was transformed into huge mudslides. I don’t mean a bit of mud on our shoes, I mean, no sight of shoes, no mention of ‘walking’, it was rather like having a bunch of 80-year-olds holding on to their sticks and anything they could find in order to maintain some kind of stability and move forward a little. A few hours of this, an a few sore falls later, however, ou realize that basically it’s just like skiing and if you apply the same kind of fules, you’ll get down. Somehow. After this slideshow, we were all relieved that after the strainuous trek, the only thing we would have to do is sit on a bus to Luang Probang for 8 hours. If there had been a bus that is. If there had been seats that is… We arrived at the bus satation and the minibus was full, but we had tickets. Not a problem in Asia, you can sit on ricebags… so here we were again, on the rice bags, unable to move, on our journey down something called road, rather reminding us of a golf course given the amount of holes, only that these ones were rather large and filled with water. Luang Probang is a fabulous city, full of temples and old colonial buildings, with a very relaxing atmosphere and a fantastic market. It’s nice that the French left the cafes and the croissants, a shame they took the suspensions for the buses with them when they left…

The Unspoilt Mud of Laos 1

Travelling through south-east Asia…so exciting, just the traveling that you might think of would involve buses and trains and sometimes a plane. You get the more exciting version though. Arrived in Laos, we got tgether with 3 other people and chartered a ‘private long-tail boat to take us from Huan Xai to Luang Nam Tha, in the north. The adventure of ‘travelling’ started when we tried to get onto the boat, with our huge backpacks (also called television), we had to walk through a narrow little alley that led to the water and for some reason there was one line of bamboo branches laid out in front of us. I personally soon discovered why, as I was hanging in the mud up to my knees, 18 kilos on my back, 10 kilos on my front, unable to get out of it as it was this kind of mud that swallows you as soon as you move. Fortunately, the little man from the boat came to help me, and took my little rucksack off me just to return to the boat…but I was still sinking and sinking. Eventually, after three other people had ended up in the mud as well, I got out, forced to donate my shoes to the mud of Laos. Having arrived at the boat, the choice of seats were limited: there were no seats, only huge bags of rice…our ‘private boat’ was a cargo boat…

Vun Bulli a Fierkelen- Laos 2

Ukomm zu Luang Nam Tha, hun mire is op en Trek gema an den Nationalpark. Am Ufank waren mir jo na ganz begeeschtert, Reisfelder, e bessi durch en Floss treppelen asw. Bis et ugefaang huett matt reenen an eisen Wee just nach Bulli war. Net e bessi Bulli, eischter wei schwaarz Seef eng Pente erof oder erop, just hei konnt en neischt gewannen. Mir hun keng Schong mei gesin, vun trepplen was keng Riets mei, eischter wei 80-Joer-al Ditten dei sech un hirem Bengel festhalen fir irgendwei erofzefkommen. Irgenweid hun mir et jo gepackt an sin am Akha Duerf ukomm. 300 Leit liewen do, planzen Reis and an anerer koomesch Kaeren un.D’Fraen sin plaakesch bis op eng Zort Jupe an gesin al aus, obschons se vlait nemmen 40 Joer al sin.
Mir konnten ons dun bei den ‘Petz oder bei de Floss’ waeschen goen. Natirlech fir d’eischt erem en Hiwwel mat Bulli erofrutschen, dann kent een bei den ‘Petz’, wat am fong just den ieweschten Deel vum Floss as, en Ennersched teschent denen 2 gouf et am fong net. En Ennerscheed tescht ‘virum Waeschen’ and ‘nom Waeschen’ och net, well een jo nees huet missen den Hiwwel mam Bulli erofkommen fir bei d’Huett.
Bei der Huett ukomm, gesin mir e Grupp vu Leit op en kleng Schwein kucken. Wat da lass wir, froen mir. Dat as eist Owesiessen…Gudd gelaach, bis den Mann mat engem riisen Messer lass fiirt. Am fong as et ganz einfach: also, fir d’eischt d’Patten zesummenstrecken fir dass dat Dengen net zevill wibbelt, dann den Hals durchschneiden bis dat ganz Blut erausgelaf kennt, (den Mann huet nach emol mam Fanger nogekuckt op och alles eraus wir), an dann an d’waarmt Waasser zappen, mam Kapp fir, dan kann een d’Haut besser erofzeien. D’Fierkel wibbelt dann nach e bessi, wei wann et lieweg wir, mee dat as net schlemm, dat sin just d’Nerven, soten si… Gedaerms eraushuelen, a Stecker schneiden an op de Grill, also bei d’Feier. Delicious…

De Bulli am Laos 1

Mein Rucksack huet en neien Numm: ‘television’… well dat as wat all Mensch hei seet wann se mei Rucksak an den Bus oder op den Dag vum Tuk tuk hiewen…dobei war ech esou stolz dass ech nemmen 18 kilo derbei hat.
Dat matt dem Reesen wir jo flott, wann et nemmn Busser an Zich wiren…Am Laos ukomm hun mir eis gesot: komm mir huele esou en long-tail boat (2 cm iwwert dem Waasser) fir an de Norden ze fueren (15 Stonnen, 2 Deeg). Mir charteren esou en ‘privat Boot’ mat 3 aneren Leit, hoffen op eng gudd Setzplaatz matt ‘vue sur la riviere’. D’Aventure faenkt schon un wei mir sollen bei d’Boot kommen, ech matt mengen 18 kilo um Reck an 10 kilo am ‘klenge’ Rucksak. Mir treppelen esou en klengen Wee erof, durch eng Wiss, dun op emol leien just nach esou Bambooaescht virun eis. Ech hun ganz seier erausfont firwat, wei et bis am Bulli festhung, bis iwwert d’Kneien, mat mengen 28 Kilo….an de Bulli as wei den am Sumpf, all Bewegung heegt dass de weider erofrutschts.Gottseidank as dun de Mann vum Boot komm fir mech ze retten…an huet virun allem emol mei klengen Rucksak geholl an hut sech nes emgedreit fir bei d’Booat ze goen, waehrend d’Martine am Bulli verschwennt. Ech soen iech d’Fluchwieder aus allen Harenlaenner sin erauskomm, de Stuart probeiert mech um Rucksak unzehalen, de Rucksak as uewen, ech haenken ennendrun…Resultat: irgendwann-nodeems 3 aner Leit och hallef dran leien-kommen ech eraus, ouni Schong natirlech, dei hun ech dem hellgen Buedem vum Laos als Don gin). Mir gin bei d’Boat…genee, Vue sur la riviere: jo. Setzer: nee. Daach fir Schied bei 35Grad: nee….Also hun mir eis et op den Reissaeck gemitlech gema, op eisem ‘private Boot’, wat op emol en Cargoboot gin as…15 Stonnen….

You can't buy fresher!

About two weeks ago we went to a Thai market (next to the infamous Bridge over the River Kwai) as part of a cookery course and thought we had seen it all when it comes to fresh meat. We took great delight in watching a Canadian girl squirm as flapping fish were taken off the display, had their heads chopped off and then gutted. Apparently, Thai people like their fish really fresh, so the fishmonger keeps them half alive on the ice by spraying water over them occasionally. However, on our our Trek in Laos we were not prepared for our evening meal in a remote Hilltribe village. (That should be a long enough build-up for veggies to stop reading now.)
After a hard day walking through the jungle in very muddy conditions, we returned from the Well/bathroom to find a young pig tied up at the feet and mouth, squealing and trying to escape. When we asked why it was there, we were told it was our dinner. We couldn’t really believe it until one of the villagers came out with a machette and stabbed its throat, wiggled it about a bit and drained the blood. (Of course we had to watch!) It was then skinned using boiling water (this bit did concern us and a Dutch guy called Kijn, as the pig moved a lot during this process-but we were assured it was dead). It was then gutted, chopped up,barbequed and on our plates within two hours. Now that’s what you call FRESH MEAT!
Again, we thought we had seen it all, but on the bus home we were given a little more insight into Animal Welfare-Laos style. No blood this time, but a man stopped the bus, ran off to woman selling tied up Moles (yes, the little furry things that live under ground), bought two, stuffed them in a plastic bag and sat back down behind Martine (who was sitting on a bag of rice, because there were no seats left) with the two creatures wriggling centimetres from her back. I (Stuart) was amazed at how Martine did not seem fazed by sitting so close to two suffocating animals, but as the gentleman assured us ‘It’s ok, they are used to living underground.’ He then told us that they were a present for his parents, as you just can’t get them in the cities nowadays. Needless to say, we have not eaten any local food in two days and our first meal when arriving in Luang Prubang (UNESCO Protected City) was Pizza and Spagetti Carbonara. You just need a little break now and then.

Rules For Travelling in Asia

Rule 1:If you book a tour from home to visit Asia you are merely a Tourist on Holiday. However, if you buy a Lonely Planet and buy tours from your guesthouse you a Traveller on a Trip (possibly for self-discovery).
Rule 2: A really poor person is more real than an ordinary poor person.
Rule 3: The same goes for countries - really poor countries are always more beautiful and amazing (you do not need to compare or give examples).
Rule 4: If you happened to enjoy a developed country more than a less developed one, you should keep that to yourself like the dirty little secret that it is.
Rule 5: If you used travel companies to take you from one hotel to next in a less developed country, and you are asked if it is easy to travel there-you should raise your eyebrows and say "Well, it was for me, but not everyone can handle it'.
Rule 6: Look horrified if are asked if you travelled with other tourists. They were not Tourists, they were Travellers!
Rule 7: If you meet someone who doesn't agree with you likening your visit to a poor country with discovering the Lost City of Atlantis, just look at them as if they just don't get it. They are obviously a Tourist and not a Traveller like you.
Rule 8: When applying for a VISA to entry a country, erase from your memory the fact that you have to apply for a Tourist VISA and tick the box which says Holiday.
Rule 9: If you go to Starbucks for a Caffe Latte Frappe for breakfast instead of rice noodle soup (as everybody secretly does at least once and again) DO NOT mention it to anybody.
Rule 10: Always remember to write on your blog how you hate other Tourists - I mean Travellers.

Lankawi Island

Another beautiful island off the East coast of Malaysia. Here we took advantage of a chalet on the beach to get away from all the stresses and strains of not working. We were also accompanied by two hungry Geckos (small lizards) who lived in our room and ate all the insects. Just as well we opted for air conditioning though, as were heard the lizards in the cheaper chalets stayed up all night making a terrible noise. Not like us who are in bed most nights by 10pm. Hope the weather is nice in Europe too. Please comment, Stuart is missing the cold wind.

Utopia

As pictured below,at the barber's, our next destination was Singapore. Although, this isn't the image most people would recognise of this city, which I thought was like a working version of London. Everthing is clean, there is almost no crime, people are really friendly and it has a big mix of cultures. It might not be the most democratic, but there is no litter and you get lashes for acts of vandalism-jolly good show if you ask me. We also met two nice Australian farmers from Orange called Helen and Hedley. They have invited us to their farm next year where they say it SNOWS (Hurrah for cold weather). Whilst there we we also sneaked ourselves into a private cricket club for a nice cold Bitter Lemon and Ginger Ale-who said colonianism was a bad thing?(As you may be able to tell, Stuart wrote this posting.) Well, Tally Ho,must go, and chins up to all in Blighty.

Monkey business

One of the real highlights of our trip so far - Tioman Island, off the east coast of Malaysia. We decided to upgrade again to a dark wooden raised chalet with a sea view (and most importantly for Stuart, a kettle to make tea-the first time we've enjoyed such luxury).

However, the funniest part of our stay on the island was when we went on another jungle trek (must make a note to stop doing these) to Monkey bay, where we were not dissapointed with the title of our destination. Stuart was about to go out on a snorkelling expedition (30 metres from the beach) and Martine was making herself comfortable for a bit of cooking (tanning) when a very cheeky monkey made a guest appearance. He rushed out of the jungle, heading straight for his target: a blue Eastpack, fully packed and promising. Cheeky monkey didn't even sniff around, just openend the front zip, took out our neighbour's camera (also swimming) (the neighbour, not the camera, that was disappearing in the jungle) and ran off back into the jungle. The whole sequence lasted for 3 seconds and the monkey's confidence was absolutely unblemished by the shouts of its human spectators... so Martine gave chase, in full combat uniform (pink and turquise bikini, barefoot) and ran after the monkey in the jungle, who was calmly unpacking the camera... the monkey seemed so shocked that he didn't even take a picture but tried his luck with the neighbour's sunglasses later. Another sweet monkey later charged at Stuart but was scared off by Stuart's high-pitched screams.
Apart from the monkeys we met some real people, some really nice people as well, Anna and Magnus from Sweden, or Spain, who gave us some good tips for Singapore. Nothing prepared me for Stuart's fantastic visit to a barbar in Singpore's Chinatown (best haircut he's had for ages by the way:)