Thanks!

One of the surprises of travelling is that you come to miss some of the most extraordinary things: Zossiss (luxembourgish sausage), Muesli, curries, nailbrush, milk, tea, football, wooden chairs, talking letzebuergesch, Gala, and Nutella (ok, I admit, that was to be expected).
Then again, you come to like other things, revealing rather odd traits of your character: reading Agatha Christie, Lipton tea with lemon, DW TV, train toilets, toilet paper, shower cabins, cockroach-free zones, shade, hats, rain, earplugs, eyeshades, cars which use indicators instead of hooting.
Some of our longings were thankfully answered by some supplies imported by Rebecca and Christine, with whom we spent a great month in Vietnam. The best of that trip was probably the trip to halong bay and the day in the dunes of Mui Ne. Just off the beach, there are huge dunes, white ones and yellow ones, in which you can do sand-sliding.

Sounds sophisticated? It is: a ten-year-old boy (school was already finished, I'm sure) waits for the tourist jeeps, leads you through the dunes and at some point gives you a thin plastic board. Lie on it and off you go, down the steep dunes. It's very exciting, especially if you don't expect it to go that fast (yes, the boy is lighter than us) and that you end up like fried fish in batter: yellow, sweaty and full of crumbs.

Given that we're having a bit of a break in our travels, we'd just like to thank you for reading our blog (we'll be back!), and especially thank the people with whom we shared some of the trip here: Christine and Rebecca (merci fir de Schokola and d'Zossiss!) and of course Krijn, Lisa and Stijn, with whom we discovered Laos. Hope you got home alright and stick to eating fruit in the morning:)

Dr Dong

Ech setzen an der Cafeteria/ dem Restaurant an waarden op den 'Dr Dong', den huet d'Madam am Hotel geruff fir no mengem Been ze kucken. Et as e besi geschwollen ennen an rout, et fillt sech un wei wann ech d'Muskelen gerass sin, keng Ahnung wat ech gema hun. Eran kennt fir d'eischt eng vietnamesesch Madam, hannendrun e klengen verdruddelten vietnameseschen Mann matt enger Malleta.
Si schwaetzt drei Wieder Englesch, hien keen Franseisch oder Englesch, ech keen Vietnmesesch, dat kann jo Freed gin...Hien kuckt mein Been 2 Minuten, schwaetzt net mat mir an verschwennt 10 Minuten an d'Buedzemmer. Wei en eremkennt, d'Haenn gudd gewaesch, d'Gesiicht pletschnaass, mecht seng Maletta op an hellt eng selwer Kescht eraus matt Scheiren, Messeren, Spretzen, dei all mei brong-raschteg sin ewei selwerfaarweg, ech mengen dei sin mei al ewei d'Saachen dei ech an esou munchen Kelleren vun virun 50Joer erausgekroomt hun. Ech gin scho waiss am Gesicht, hoffen dass deen net welles huet mech opzeschneiden oder opzepicken matt irgendengem vun denen Instrumenter...
Gott sei Dank hellt hien just Medikamenter eraus an schneit mir genee 4 Voltaren Pellen an 4 rosa Ma-mech-frou-Pellen eraus, 4 roud Vitamin B Pellen a 4 bloer. D'Madam seet eppes vun Allergie/ Inflammatioun. 'Op wat?' froen ech 'Dat kann villes sin, mengt si: Iessen, Dreck, d'Plage, en Insekt...' ganz in formativ, ech si frou dass ech den Dokter geruff hun.
Vu dass ech mein Spuddelwaasser suckelen an ech net well onheiflech sin, froen ech den Docter Dong op hien eppes wilt drenken. Dat hat en verstan! 'Heinecken!' heescht et, '2'. Ok, souvill fir net am Dengscht drenken...Wei hien seng brong-raschteg selwer Kescht nees agepaak hat an eng gudd Zigrett ugefaang huet, faenkt hien un mam Stuart op Vietnamesesch ze schwaetzen. Sein Hut an sein Sonnebrell gengen hien interesseiren...Wei hien 'the Marlboro feeling' bis op Foto festgehal hat an seng Beierchen genesslech gedronk hat, froen ech hien weivill hien geng kreien.'Medical Insurance?' freet en mech, ech soen Jo. Hien kuckt an d'Luut, kuckt vun wou de Wand kennt, an declammeiert: 40 dollars.'
Ech muss jo net preziseiren dass ech 4 Deeg drop, wei ech nees zu Hanoi war, an d'franseischt Spidol gaang sin well mein Been mei schlemm gi war, an dass dat ganzt weit ewech vun enger 'Allergie/ Inflammatioun war. Derwert war et emmer, an wann och nemmen fir ze staunen.

Leider as mein Been net besser gin, hun eng Phlibite/ Trombose an de Monni Docter huet gemengt ech haet besser mech ewech ze man aus Drettwelt-Lanner, also kommen mir elo emol nees kurz heem, awer nemmen fir eng Dusch ze huelen an e puer Bludanalysen ze man, wann et mir no geet:)

Asian Remedies

'One dollar madam, one dollar, please madam, buy picture', the lady in the Vietnamese hat shouted as I ran off the floating restaurant, avoiding to throw up in front of her. 'No, thank you' I managed to say. I felt so sick, I just steered right towards the wall to sit down and be within safe distance ofthe garden where I could hide my sickness.

Stu, Rebecca and Christine finally came out of the restaurant, so I got up to go towards them, but my body suddenly felt drained of energy. 'Oh, I think I'm going to faint, or be sick,no, faint AND be sick, right here right now', I thoughtto myself. 'One dollar, madam, one dollar, sir, please buy picture', I heard from far off . Suddenly I felt the colour vanish from my face, my lips, I managed to just sit down and the lady in the Vietnamese hat came rushing towards me, changing her tone completely. 'Sit, sit, sit!' she ordred, 'oh, oh, oooooooooohhhhhh'. Another Vietnamese hat came running towards me, then a boy, both panicking. The boy came up withan nlighing idea, it semed: 'Wait, oh, wait here', he ran off towards his boat, I imagined to get a sick bag.
I was about to be sick, right there, right then, in front of all these people watching me from above me. The boy came back, holding a small bottle with green liquid in his hands: 'Very good, very good, American!' he proclaimed, proudly. Well, if it's American, it must be good... (surprising you trust them, given your history).
The first woman in the Vietnamese hat took the bottle and rubbed some of the liquid under my nose. Another woman appeared, took the bottle and rubbed it on my chest, shouting something in Vietnamese. The boy interrupted: 'Temples, on temples' and put the stuff onto my temples, while the first one was still rubbing my chest, harder now, as if to affirm her authority. I couldn't move, my chest was all red from the rubbing , I still felt weak, but a little further away from fainting than before. Yet another woman arrived, proclaimed that one must rub it where it hurts, lifted up my T-Shirt (thank god I'm not the shy type) and rubbd it as hard as she could onto my tummy, so hard, I thought I was going to be sick again, she was pushing it all up, erggghh, I wobbled, looked right and left for support. Suddenly, the first woman changed her strategy, seeing that the colour in my face was draining again, and started pinching me between my eyes. One rubbing my tummy, one rubbing my chest, the other one piching the thin skin between my eyes...you can't say that the Vietnamese are not helpful when it comes to ill people. Finally, I heard Stuart saying in a friendly, but confused way: 'Ehm, thank you, she, she'll be okay, thank you, Oh my god, thank you,yes, I think she'll be fine now.' I tried to get up, held Stuart's arm, walking off with a following behind me.

Believe me, I was back to my senses, my chest was all red and ached from the rubbing and the skin between my eyes was red and swollen for days afterwards. If ever I worried about the hair growing there, I needn't anymore...

A normal day

6.12 I’m woken up by the hooting of ten motorbikes and a barking dog. Try to go back to back to sleep using my earplugs..
7.30 Alarm goes off. Time to get up.
7.35 We go downstairs. Stuart goes to the reception: ''Excuse me, are there any good tailors around the hotel.'' ‘Yes, sir, many tailors.’ ‘Can you tell me a name?’ ‘Many tailors, sir.’ ‘Okay, where can I find one, do you have a name?’ ‘Name sir?’ ‘Yes.’... Confusion… ‘Shall I come back after breakfast?’ ‘Yes, sir, after breakfast I give you name.’
7.40 We go into the restaurant to have breakfast. We tick on their list: bread and butter with jam, boiled eggs, noodle soup.
7.50 The bread and jam arrive. No butter. No eggs.
7.55 The soup arrives. ‘Could we have butter please?’ ‘Butter? Yes’
7.57 Girl comes back with tea.
8.00 Girl comes back with coffee.
8.03 Girl comes back with breakfast for other guests.
8.05 Girl comes back with butter. We have breakfast.
8.15 Stuart goes back to reception. ‘Do you have a name of a tailor?’ ‘Tailor, sir?’ ‘Yes, I asked you earlier for the name of a shop to make a shirt.’ ‘Ah, no sir.’ ‘No name?’ ‘No, sir. '
8.20 We go upstairs, I try to unlock the door and the key just breaks off. We have learnt not to be surprised by these situations, so, we go downstairs so they can call someone to fix the lock.
8.25 Reception: ‘Okay sir, you go upstairs, someone comes to help you.’
8.27 We’re in front of our room, the receptionist has the other half of the key, no toolbox, and puts it next to the lock, as if, magically, the key would melt together and be whole again. Stuart:’Eh, I think this doesn’t work, you need a tool, I think.’ Receptionist: 'Eh, yes. I go get tool, please wait here, take a seat.’ (There are no seats in that bleak corridor.)
8.40 The man comes back with a toolbox, pulls the key out of the lock and opens the door. ‘Thank you.’’Ok, you stay here, I go make key for you and come back. ‘Ok, when will you come back?’ ‘Later.’ ‘When , later?’ ‘Later.’ ‘When later, in 5 minutes, in 5 hours, tomorrow?’ ‘Later, sir.’
8.42 I get undressed, get into the shower, turn on the taps. No water.
8.43 I get out of the shower, phone the reception. ‘There’s no water in our taps.’ ‘Yes, Madam, turn on the taps, water comes out.’ ‘No, I just said, there is no water.’ ‘Ah, yes, I switch on water for you.’
8.45 I get into the shower, turn on the taps, still no water.
8.50 I get out of the shower, phone reception: ‘ There’s no water in our taps.’ ‘Yes, Madam, turn on the taps, water comes out.’ ‘No, I just said, there is no water.’ ‘Ah, yes, I switch on water for you.’
8.56 I get into the shower, turn on the taps, there’s water, I have a shower.
9.10 I get dressed, while watching BBC News. Suddenly, all lights go out, air-con off, TV off. Given it’s rather dark in a room with no window and no lights, I phone reception: ‘There’s no electricity in our room, 507.’ ‘Sorry, madam?’ ‘This is room 507, there’s no electricity in our room, lights off, TV off.’ ‘Ah, yes, I turn it on for you.’ ‘Thank you. ‘
9.15 Still no lights. I phone reception: ‘There’s no electricity in our room, 507.’ ‘Sorry, madam?’ ‘This is room 507, there’s no electricity in our room, lights off, TV off.’ ‘Ah, yes, I turn it on for you.’ ‘Thank you. ‘
9.20 Lights on, TV on, Air con on, Martine happy.
9.50 Suddenly, all lights out, air-con off, TV off. I phone reception: ‘There’s no electricity in our room, 507.’ ‘Sorry, madam?’ ‘This is room 507, there’s no electricity in our room, lights off, TV off.’ ‘Ah, yes, I turn it on for you.’ ‘Thank you. ‘
10.00 We go downstairs to leave the hotel. ‘Sorry madam, you must leave your key here.’ ‘Yes, but our key broke and you are getting a new one, so we have no key to give you.’ ‘Yes, but you need to give us your key.’ ‘Yes, but it broke, we have no key.’ ‘Ah, ok, Madam. Can I have your key, please?’

A Very Serious Account of the American War

'Escuseme.

After the French were defeat in Diem Bien Phu, the AmeriCAN soldiers moved in. President JON SON decided this. The maaaan reason for this was the communist expansion, the Communist expansion was vely faaaat.Some US soldiers did not want to come to Vietnam but the government sent them so they came.
Escuseme. 20 million gallons of a chemical Agent Orange, no more forest, then, many people got sick and cancer and many babies in deformity born. Even AmeriCAN soldiers get the same from cancer.
Escuseme. Here is Rock Pick Mountain. In the war, the AmeriCAN put a lookout and a RAdio on top of mountain, that way they could control the demilitarized zone. Here a lot of land mice. Even today a lot of land mice, put under ground, someone stand on it, boom. 5000 people lost here after war because of land mice after war, last year one lady killed by land mice when she farming. Yes, land mice still very popular in Vietnam. (common?)
Escuseme. US veterans tell me only 70% of bombs dropped exploded, still 30% out there. Very dangerous, not easy to clear.'

The VC Tunnels in 'Nam with a guide

As everyone probably knows already, the Communist North Vietnam army created tunnels to fight against the Americans during the Vietnam War (or the American War if you come from Vietnam). We visited the ones on the north side of the DMZ (Demilitarised Zone) around the middle of Vietnam-separating North and South. The whole trip lasted twelve hours with only thirty minutes down the tunnels with very little description of life down their and the fight against America, which was a bit disappointing.
However, the highlight of the day was our guide who had amzingly transported himself from the seventies onto our bus-it's not on every guided tour you meet a Time Traveller. The long greasy hair was perfectly matched to his seventies Hawaian shirt, his right hand constantly stroking his hair, his left hand holding a microphone and a position that only carried one message: I'm a performer, and I am ready: 'Ladies and gentlemen, escuseme...'
Please see above for the English teacher's perception of the guide's very serious account of the Vietnam war. I mean the American war.

Keeping it REAL!

After Hanoi, Martine and I hired a Land Cruiser and driver to take us around the North-West of Vietnam. It is not a very touristic part of the country and is possibly most well known for the area where the French lost a large battle to the North Vietnamese army, thus creating North and South Vietnam. However, there are some great mountainous landscapes and our first stop was a home-stay in a 'Traditional' tribe village. This reminded us of our trip in Laos (a very quiet country which we now miss dearly) and we were quite excited to be staying in a traditional wooden house without the conveniences of modern living. As the sun set, I put on my head torch and helped Martine find her things so she could go for a shower. When she was ready she took the head torch and I sat in the dark looking at the night sky, wondering how it must have been like this in Europe a few generations ago. However, within a minute the boy of the house came in, switched on the light and sat down in front of the Satellie TV. Moreover, Martine didn't wash at a well, but in some concrete cubicles with European toilets. And they call this TRADITIONAL? We did think about asking them to switch the lights off as they were only attracting mosquitos, but instead we ordered a cold beer and coke from the fridge and enjoyed a freshly cooked meal on the plastic chairs and table. (Just in case you are wondering, we are not those types of tourists-I mean travellers- who would like people to stay without things like electricity, so there are always places to go on holiday and see 'real' people.) Technology-we love it!

The DOG!

Most people know that I (Stuart) am not a great dog lover, but may you please direct any anger you feel about this story towards Martine, because as children say in Primary School "It wasn't my fault -she dared me!" There are many dogs in Vietnam, and to the untrained eye they may look like pets. However, that is not the only purpose they serve in life (or death). So when I joked that the Vietnamese had the right idea in eating them (when some were barking at us) MARTINE said "I was all mouth and no trousers," if I didn't eat one myself. (As you can see, I am completely blameless in all of this.) So that evening after MARTINE had arranged it with our driver, we went to the most unhygenic 'restuarant' either of us have ever seen to do the terrible deed. (Incidently, MARTINE ate Buffalo, which are extremely cute animals in their own way.) I was served hot deep fried dog and cold boiled or roasted dog. BOTH tasted horrible and were very chewy, although the driver and his friend took great delight in the whole experience. Needless to say, neither of us felt very well for the next few days, and vegetable noodle soup was consumed in large quantities.

I (Martine) am not to blame for any of this, it is Stuart's sick love for food and hatred for dogs that led him to this. I'm glad to say that he felt awful for several days and that he will probably agree one day to having a dog as a pet after all, without me having to be afraid that Stuart will have had it for dinner.

Ech iwwersetzen den Text hei net well en e schlecht Liicht op mein soss normalen Frend geheit...

HaNoise

On visiting Hanoi for the first time we were not shocked to find many people asking us to part with our money in various ways every metre or so. This involves repeatedly being asked: 'What's your name?', 'Where you from?', 'Moto?' (a ride on the back of motorbike), 'Silk scarf?', "Hotel-Cheap price for you!" and so on, and on, and on and on... However, combining that with the noise of hundreds of motorbikes within eyesight and any one time, who seem to have their horns short-circuited to the accelerator is too much for anyone with a sane mind to bare. Luckily for us though, we stayed long enough to see their Full Moon Festival, where as part of the celebration, even more people than usual go onto the streets on their motorbikes and slowly drive around peeping their horns. We did manage to find some very nice restaurants and cafes which proved to be real treat, however, all good points of the city were completely drowned out by the sound of peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep......

'The Vietnamese plant the rice, the Cambodians watch it grow and the Lao people listen to it grow...' Dat Sprechwuert seet alles. Dass et am Laos e bessi mei lues leeft war am Ufank e bessi koomesch, mee mir hun ons seier un dei Rou an dei leif, eischter schei Leit gewinnt.

Dass de Vietnam geng anescht gin woussten mir soubal mir aus dem Flughafen vun Hanoi erauskomm sin. Honnert Leit dei no eis geruff hun 'Minibus, Moto, taxi, here Sir, no not this bus, where are you going where are you from, what is your name'. Mir waren esou geschockt dass mir decideiert hun net een vun den Touristenbussen ze huelen mee een vun den 'local buses', den en plus nemmen 1\4 vum Preis war. Mee soubal mir matt denen aneren 80 Vietnamesen an de Bus geklomm sin an all Mensch ugefaang huet matt kicheren, woussten mir dass mir di eischt Europaer waren dei je an dem Bus waren. 'Net um Rucksak setzen' huet et geheescht, de Schaffner, rappt mech mam Arm op an flucht op Vietnamesesch. Mee soss war kee Setz mei frei an am Gang war masseg Plaatz, wat as do de Problem? Mir sin op eng relativ aggressiv Maneier vun eisen Rucksack gestouss gin an hin an hier geplennert gin- beim nexten Arret woussten mir dun virwat, - hei sin nach 80 der Hallefportiounen erageklomm, an beim nexten Arret nach emol... well wann's du mengs an Asien as e Bus voll, dann as en nach laang net voll. Mir waren definitiv am falschen Bus, all Mensch huet eis Koomescher gekuckt, also sin mir erausgeklomm an probeiert erauszefannen wei en Bus mir missten huelen. An op manst 10 Leit sin direct ronderem ons fir ons ze hellefen, ganz leif, just dass keen Englesch konnt, mee egal, si hun ennert sech discuteiert an d'Kaart ronderemgereescht... super leif Leit.
Irgendwann sin mir dunn am Centrum vun Hanoi ukomm. Zu Hanoi liewen 8 Milliounen Leit, an ech mengen den Owend waren se all op hiren Motorieder fir eis ze begreissen. En plus muss du hei d'Senner e bessi emdreien. Et geet net duer ze gesin dass en Moto oder en Auto kennt, et muss een et heiren, tuuuut. Tuuuuttuuuuut. tututututututututututututttttttt. E Code de la route gett et net, den mei Staarken, oder de mei Haarden gewennt, dat as Wahnsinn. Dat hei as di eischt Stad wou ech mech heiansdo emgedreit hun fir ze kucken op den Stuart nach hannert mer lieft oder schon iwwerrannt gin as-mee och dat as liewensgefeierlech.